The Adventures of Glasses and Grim
by Kira Ashkelon
Summary: Due to a rather sticky situation occuring down in the Snape section of the dungeons of Hogwarts, Professor McGonagall and Sirius Black become stuck in their animal forms and are cast out by Filch. Now they have to get back to Hogwarts before disaster str
1. Stuck

**The Adventures of Glasses and Grim  
  
Chapter 1  
Stuck  
**

  
Minerva McGonagall was in her transfiguration room late that night, cleaning up after a _very _hard lesson, and she hadn't had time to fix things until now. True enough, she could have left it up to Filch, but she wasn't very fond of that cat of his...  
  
Finally around eleven she finished everything up, and started for her own room for some sleep. But on her way, she heard some sort of sniffing and scurrying in the shadows, which did not make her feel the least bit comfortable. She figured if something was out and about, she'd have a better chance dealing with it as a cat, thus transfigured herself into a grey tabby with square markings around her eyes. Besides, if she was to be perfectly honest, she preferred to be a cat at times like these.  
  
Now that her cat eyes could see better in the dark, she saw a large, dark _something_ trot down the steps before her, but it was gone before she could figure out what. So she gathered her courage and followed on silent paws.  
  
She could tell they were headed for the dungeons, and she didn't like that idea one bit. Not only that, but she rarely roamed the castle at night as a cat, and certainly not the dungeons!  
  
Hey, Baby, why don't you just curl up over here next to me and purr in my ear a little while, hm?  
  
The voice didn't exactly scare her as much as what it was saying did. She looked around for the owner and saw none other than...  
  
Mrs. Norris.  
  
McGonagall gulped nervously. I take it you're more of a Mr. Norris than a Mrs. Norris, she guessed.  
  
Mrs. Norris winked as he swaggered over to her, trying to be a cool cat. Yeah, well, humans. What do they know? No offense.  
  
None taken.  
  
Where are you going, Babe? Can I come too? Purrrr!  
  
The fur on the back of her neck stood up slightly. No, but thank you for offering. You've already distracted me enough as it is. Good night, she ended as she continued her mission.  
  
I'll be waiting for you, my Kitten of Love! Mrs. Norris purred after her.  
  
McGonagall quickly caught up with the shadow again, but didn't want to get too close, so followed at a distance. She still couldn't quite make out what it was, though she could tell it was black and walked on four legs. Probably a dog. Ugh. Finally it turned into the potions room. She crouched down next to the cracked door and peered inside.  
  
The creature walked through the room and into Snape's office. Again she followed. As she gingerly turned her head to look into the room, she saw a collection of potions heating over various fires in their own containers, and, through other twists and turns of glass tubing, all dripped into a cauldron resting in the center of the table. The creature stood on his hind legs and placed his paws on the table as he peered over into the cauldron.  
  
Minerva finally recognized it to certainly be a dog, and more specifically, Sirius Black.  
  
He put a paw on the rim of the cauldron and sniffed it. McGonagall didn't know what he was up to, but thought she ought to know. she hissed.  
  
He jumped away from the table so quickly, he accidentally dragged the cauldron over the edge. The liquid drenched his fur, and McGonagall had to place her paws over her mouth to keep from laughing. McGonagall! What are you doing?  
  
I was going to ask you the same thing.  
  
He sighed as he stood up and shook violently to get the potion off of him, causing a lot of it to end up on Minerva. Well, Professor, I think Snape's up to something.  
  
Don't you always?  
  
He's trying to make an immortality potion for You-Know-Who! Can't you tell?  
  
Minerva sniffed at the liquid on the floor and wrinkled her nose. To be quite honest, it looks like the beginnings of a potion to prevent balding. He does have a receding hairline, you know. It makes sense, especially since he's not really working for You-Know-Who in the first place. But in any case you should have talked to Dumbledore about it instead of trying to do it yourself and messing everything up. Now come on, let's go on back.  
  
McGonagall sat there for a moment, as if waiting for something important to happen. She cocked her head, blinked down at herself, and closed her eyes. Finally she opened them and stared coldly at Sirius. Try to transfigure yourself back to human.  
  
Sirius nodded, but ended up doing much the same routine she did. I can't do it.  
  
Both cat and dog stared at the potion. I've got to see Albus, Minerva whispered.  
  
What are you going to do? Meow at him in Morse Code?  
  
We'll figure something out, she growled as she trotted to the door, Sirius clearly making an effort to _follow _ her and not get ahead. Do you think he'll still be awake? he asked.  
  
Are you kidding? The man doesn't sleep.  
  
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	2. Long Night

**The Adventures of Glasses and Grim  
  
Chapter 2  
Long Night  
**

  
They passed Mrs. Norris on the way back up, but he didn't seem quite as eager to annoy McGonagall wit Sirius Black towering over her. Bad company, Kitten. Watch out, he growled, obviously jealous.  
  
Not one word, McGonagall hissed to Sirius as they got out of Norris' earshot.  
  
They finally reached the office door, where they stood in front of the gargoyle. There was just one problem: they couldn't speak to say the password.  
  
The problem was quickly solved when the gargoyle hopped out of the way and the door opened, Dumbledore standing in the entryway blinking down at the animals. Oh, so there is someone here! Fawkes always gets nervous acting when felines are about. Come on in, Padfoot and dearest Minerva! He stood aside and motioned them through.  
  
Dumbledore sat down in his seat. So what are you two out and about so late for? They started meowing and barking, and Dumbledore put his hands up to stop them. I think one of you needs to be human and explain things. Both animals sat there and blinked. What, are you stuck? They nodded. Bad potion, huh? Probably that balding prevention.... it has some odd side affects... not that I'd know or anything. And let me guess, Sirius. You think Severus left it out just so you could get into it, right? Sirius growled.   
  
He stood up and walked to the door. Come on, then. We ought to go talk to him now. You need to be able to help us if it is necessary. They followed him out and finally got to Snape's room, where Dumbledore tapped lightly on the door.  
  
The door creaked open, and Snape peered out. Then he opened it up and looked down at the animals. Yes, Professor? Is there some sort of problem?  
  
Dumbledore, McGonagall, and Sirius walked in. You recognize these two, yes? Dumbledore asked.  
  
Of course. The cat is Professor McGonagall, and the dog is Sirius Black. Why?  
  
Apparently they were down in your dungeon, and some potion or another caused them to get stuck in their animal forms.  
  
Snape's eyes narrowed as he glared at Sirius. Was it in my office? On a table?  
  
Sirius nodded.  
  
Snape paled and stared at Dumbledore. It wasn't meant to hurt them! I didn't know it could do that! Of course some potions when they are not complete do things like this, but I've never known this one to... Not that I've tried it. I mean, it's not even finished yet.  
  
Severus, it's alright. It doesn't matter, I trust you. You know that. Just try to figure out an antidote, and soon, alright?  
  
Y-yes, sir. I'll get right to it.  
  
As Snape hurried to his office, Dumbledore knelt down next to the animals. He smiled mischievously and scooped McGonagall into his arms. She yowled and squirmed, but only succeeded in tangling herself into his long beard. Sirius nearly died laughing as Dumbledore helped to free her. She hissed bitterly at both of them. Sorry about that, Minerva, but you're so cute when you're a kitty. Sirius, you can stay in my office if you'd like, I'll let you in. Minerva, you still have that kitty door, right? Good. Good night then!  
  
McGonagall pushed into her room through the kitty door. She had a cat bed in the corner where she slept when she felt like it. But tonight she really just wanted some conversation beyond that of Sirius Black. So she nosed another door ajar and crawled into the room where she kept the Sorting Hat all year. It sat on a table, not having been touched for almost nine months, as the students would be leaving for summer break in two days.  
  
She jumped onto the table next to it and batted at the top of it with her paw until it fell on its side. Hey! What are you doing?!  
  
She crawled into the opening and curled up in the dark warmth. Hello, Sorting Hat!  
  
Professor McGonagall? You don't look so well... kind of hairy.  
  
That's because I'm a cat, you senile old git!  
  
Oh, right. How considerate of you to visit with me!  
  
How goes the poem?  
  
What poem?  
  
Um... the sorting ceremony... that poem...  
  
Oh! Right! You think I've been working on it? I'm as much of a procrastinator as anyone, but it'll get done. I promise.  
  
Of course it will.  
  
You're not sick or anything, are you? I don't want any hairballs on the material.  
  
Actually, I will be taking off of work for a few days. I'm stuck this way until Snape comes up with an antidote... Stop laughing.  
  
But it's funny!  
  
I'll show you   
  
No! Sheath those claws! I'm tattered enough as it is! Hey! Stop! That tickles!  
  
When McGonagall finally got comfortable inside the hat an hour later, she fell asleep. You'd better not shed on me. I'm allergic to cats, the Sorting Hat mumbled, ending with a yawn.


	3. Kicked Out, Chased, and Lost

**The Adventures of Glasses and Grim  
  
Chapter 3  
Kicked Out, Chased, and Lost  
**

  
She awoke much earlier than she wanted to for a day off, and even for a school day. Minerva McGonagall! Get your tail out of bed and get out here!   
  
McGonagall poked her nose out through the kitty door, and was greeted with the unfriendly sight of Sirius Black. What do you want? What time is it?  
  
It's about five in the morning, but Snape thinks he's almost finished. Come on! He dashed off, and she followed as quickly as she could for a drowsy kitty who can't figure out which paw to put in front of the other at this hour. Okay, Kitty. Get on, he said, slowing down and crouching down on the ground.  
  
Minerva leapt on top of his back and they continued, unfortunately running directly into Mrs. Norris. Hey, Love Kitten! You reconsider my offer yet?  
  
Ugh! You horrible animal! Leave me alone! she hissed.  
  
Mrs. Norris seemed truly offended by McGonagall's rude response, and quickly sounded his yowling alarm to get Filch's attention.  
  
Black and McGonagall rushed off, but Filch stepped out right in front of their path. Though Sirius tried to turn down another corridor, Filch dived at him and shot him with a needle, then pulled another one on McGonagall. That'll teach you to bother my dear sweet Mrs. Norris! he cackled as both animals soon drifted into a deep sleep.  


~ * ~ * ~ * ~  


  
The ground was grassy and moist, and a burning sun shot down at them through the leaves of the Forbidden Forest. McGonagall didn't remember how she got there, most likely Filch's doing. She gently nosed the still-dozing Sirius, but he only twitched a little. Stupid dog! Get up! To this he responded by thwacking her with his large paw and sending her soaring into a tree.  
  
He opened one eye, noticed the rather injured cat, and hurried over to her. I'm sorry, Minerva! I... I didn't know!  
  
It's okay, she squeaked.  
  
He walked over to her and let her onto his back. I'll carry you around for a while to make up for it. Do you have any idea how to get out of here?  
  
I never come out here, so no. Maybe someone here will know.  
  
Or if all else fails, if we walk in a straight line, we'll eventually hit the edge and then we walk around until we find it.  
  
Yes, but the real key to all of this is surviving and not getting eaten in the process.  
  
Oh, Professor! You're so paranoid!  
  
Just at that moment, a hiss came through the trees, and the fur on their necks stood up. Am I really, Mr. Black? she challenged as two huge hairy rat-like things came into view. Um... I think you ought to start running! McGonagall mewed, terrified.  
  
Sirius was quick to obey, a little too quick for that matter. She lost her balance and toppled off of his back, not quite having the good fortune of experienced cats to land on her feet.  
  
The two rat creatures crawled up to her. What shall we do with it, Comrade? Skin it, eat it raw, and pick our teeth with its bones? one of them hissed.  
  
Minerva gulped.  
  
I think we should bake it in a quiche! the other suggested delightedly.  
  
A quiche?! What are you, crazy?  
  
What's wrong with quiche, Comrade? You always get your way! I want something with a nice fluffy crust this time.  
  
McGonagall used their created diversion to her advantage, and bolted down the most overgrown path. It was easy enough for her to get through, but those huge rat creatures would have a bit more difficulty.  
  
Or so she thought.  
  
The chase broke out into a clearing, rolled down hills and cliffs, climbed up mountains, and entangled itself in vines and branches.  
  
Soon the rat creatures were close upon her, and she was quite ready to sit down and give up, when something else shot up from the ground behind her and hissed ferociously at the rat creatures. Whether from shock or genuine fear, they turned around and scampered away.  
  
Minerva finally mustered the courage to face the one which had saved her life: a snake.  
  
The snake slithered around her, flicking her tongue. Who are you, you poor little dear? she asked sweetly.   
  
Minerva didn't know snakes were usually so polite and gentle. I am Minerva McGonagall, a professor at...  
  
The snake nodded. Ah, I know who you are. But don't worry, I won't tell him. I haven't told him half the things I know. Besides, he won't even let me eat that stupid bumbling idiot of a rat... Anyhow, my name is Nagini.  
  
Um, very good to meet you. And... and thank you for saving me.  
  
Oh, don't mention anything of it, Nagini said modestly. I am always eager to vex those horridly stupid rat creatures.  
  
Yes, they are rather stupid.  
  
Are you lost? Looking for someone?  
  
Yes, both really. I need to find a dog that I came in with, but I _really_ need to get out of this forest!  
  
I know a few ways. I've got plenty of big tunnels we can go through that are much safer.  
  
Tunnels? All underground? Long enough to go through the whole forest?  
  
Yes, well, I had some help. Magical help, to be honest. But come on. I'll get you to the nearest city.  
  
Minerva followed Nagini to a tunnel and crept down it, surprised at how open it really felt. But by the end of about two hours, she had to admit she was feeling a bit claustrophobic.  
  
Finally they emerged in the sunlight, and Minerva was surprised (but delighted) to see that they were on the outskirts of Hogsmeade. Thank you for your help! she said to Nagini.   
  
Not a problem, poor dear. I hope you find your friend in one piece and are able to get home. You never know when they'll need you back at the castle...  
  
What do you mean by that? Minerva asked suspiciously.  
  
But Nagini was quick to disappear into the tunnel again.


	4. Tamarah

**The Adventures of Glasses and Grim  
  
Chapter 4  
Tamarah  
**

  
It was late in the afternoon when a very hungry and incredibly tired Minerva curled up on a bench just outside of the candy store. One eye opened curiously as a door across the path slammed shut and a young witch with a basket full of potions ingredients hurried across, tears rolling down her pale cheeks from her dark brown eyes, her black hair waving gently in the light wind. She walked over to the bench and sat down, burying her face in her hands as she sobbed.  
  
Minerva didn't quite know what to do about this, but the poor woman needed _some_ sort of comforting. She carefully moved closer to the woman, then gently rubbed her soft cheek against the woman's arm.  
  
She jumped and looked down at McGonagall. Oh, I didn't see you, poor thing, she whispered, still sniffing but trying to smile. At least the tears seemed to stop. You look hungry. I was just on my way home to help a sick dog I found in the forest, would you like to come get some food?  
  
Not only the news of the found dog, but most especially the promise of food caused Minerva to yowl happily and jump directly to the ground.  
  
The woman laughed. I suppose I should name you. Because of my morbid sense of humor, I name the dog Grim, but he does bear a remarkable resemblance to one. Oh, and my name is Tamarah, Tamarah Brooks. Now let's look at you... you've got the most adorable markings around your eyes! Oh, that's it! I'll call you Glasses! That's perfect! Now let's go on home, Glasses, and get you something to eat!  
  
Though Tamarah did finally cheer up, she seemed like one who was quite accustomed to keeping herself company. The paleness of her cheeks and the soullessness in her eyes also led Minerva to believe that this woman had been under the influence of Dementors recently. The very thought of those horrible creatures made her shiver. She would welcome the rat creatures with open arms before getting within a ten meter distance of a Dementor.  
  
Tamarah lived in a very small house on the outskirts of Hogsmeade. It seemed very run-down, and the inside of it was very empty and only had three rooms. A pile of pillows lay in the corner where Minerva assumed Tamarah slept, except something large and hairy was on it just at that moment...  
  
she mewed happily as she bolted over to him.  
  
Careful, Glasses! He's a big one compared to you, and he hasn't been feeling well, Tamarah called.  
  
Minerva jumped onto one of the pillows and prodded the dog testingly. He opened one eye and smiled as best he could, saying,I'm glad you made it, I was worried.  
  
So was I! A snake helped me, ironically enough.  
  
To be sure. I got into some horrible kind of poisonous plant and was too weak to continue on.  
  
That was intelligent. You should have paid more attention in your Herbology classes.  
  
I was _lucky_, he continued, ignoring the good professor's comment, that this wonderful lady chanced to find me. Otherwise I might have been left for those rat creatures.  
  
Yes... I wanted to ask you about her. Do you think-  
  
That she's been around Dementors too long? Yes. She has only been away from them for a short time, too.  
  
Then she was a prisoner in Azkaban?  
  
Sirius cringed a bit as he said, Yes, she was. I... was sort of nosing through her things while she was out and found her papers. The Ministry of Magic found her out to be a werewolf and a vampire just around the worst parts of the chaos caused by You-Know-Who, and knowing how skittish they were about anything remotely considered dark' at those times, they were quick to throw her in jail, even though she hadn't actually done anything wrong.  
  
Minerva sat silently regarding Tamarah for a moment. Well, she _does_ look a little sickly, but not sickly enough to be a werewolf and a vampire. Besides, I don't smell that horrible sunblock stench on her at all.  
  
Sirius gazed at Tamarah dreamily and sighed, I think she looks and smells absolutely perfect!  
  
Minerva growled in her throat. Oh, come on!  
  
Alright, sorry! Well, you see, the one condemned wasn't exactly the one who served the time.  
  
What do you mean?  
  
I mean that when she was in court, her twin sister pleaded to the court many times saying that they had no proof that the accused had done anything wrong, and also said that the accused would never be able to survive in Azkaban due to her condition.  
  
And what does that have to do with who served the time?  
  
Well you see, the accused's name was December Brooks, and the sister's was Tamarah.  
  
Minerva stared at him for a minute, letting all of the information process. So... so you're saying that her twin sister pretended to be December and was thrown in Azkaban instead?  
  
Yes, because she knew it would have killed December in a matter of days.  
  
Well that was very Hufflepuffy Gryffindor, she mused, with a touch of Sytherinic Ravenclaw.  
  
What _are_ you babbling about?'  
  
I wish I knew.  
  
I'm seeing three of you... too many cats.  
  
Then look at the three Tamarahs if it will make you feel better.   
  
Oh, you have no idea how much it does!  
  
Tamarah walked out of the kitchen area with a small steaming cauldron, then knelt down next to Sirius, smiling. My, you two seem to get along well! That's rather odd... I'm sorry it took so long to prepare the potion, Grim, but I just didn't have the right ingredients. But drink this down now and you should be fine when you wake up in the morning. She tipped the cauldron slightly so that Sirius could easily drink without moving much, then gently stroked his head, causing him to melt into her palm. Minerva swore she heard him purr.


End file.
